I heard high-waisted pants were making their way back in style, but this is cray cray. Here’s yet another piece of fashion (and I use the term loosely) from the wacky (I’m being polite here) minds of Viktor & Rolf. These are really really really REALLY high-waisted pants. Viktor & Rolf call the creation a Top Belt Jumpsuit. I call it goofy as hell. Fortunately, the pants are on sale — 30% off! Whiiiiiich puts them at a cool, breezy $1,046.50. That’s a steal if you think about it. Wait, no, no it’s not. Look, I got a knack for looking like a damn fool. I can teach you a few things. Getting dressed? Just root around in your closet (or better yet, dirty clothes hamper!) with your eyes closed. Put on the first 3 things you grab. Sure, sometimes you end up leaving the house in three different pairs of dirty underwear, but what are ya gonna do? If you said “Get a citation for indecent exposure,” it’s like you can see the future or something. Impressive!