Relationships can be a real challenge. It takes two to make it happen and for whatever reason both don’t always play the same game – your futures may be apart thanks to the other cheating. Let’s look at two apt songs and discuss what to do about it.
Men and women cheating….
There are different reasons men and women cheat. Testosterone levels can be too high in a man for the later-relationship, haphazard sex life so some play away. Even some US Presidents have had such testosterone problems! Men sometimes go astray after a laughing flirtation gets too interesting to ignore.
Possibly the worst of all for their partner is where they want out and are after a soft landing when the relationship breaks down. Your writer has done that and believe me boys, it ain’t a perfect answer! Marriages are deep bonds and even for the tough guys you will feel pain, no matter the comfort of your new other.
Women are characteristically more loyal and their reasons can be more complex. Sex is important to both in a relationship but too much work and alcohol / drugs to wind down on the part of the other can leave her out in the cold.
Both can feel overburdened by the pressures of the other’s troubles at home. They just seek peace and an escape. This can start with being out with friends and taking a lot of time following hobbies/interests and there meeting people of all sexes. Needing a friend can lead to mistakes…
That’s a difficult thing for both players in a relationship – being able to keep everyone happy and making everyone feel loved can be too much.
La Roux – In for the Kill
During my own exit from a marriage, I had decided I wanted out. The song, In for the Kill by the UK singer La Roux was playing on the radio on heavy rotation. The song is a powerful poem describing one’s own drive for infidelity, and this only egged me on as I heard the message I was not playing any more and instead on a serious game.
What’s going on? Is s/he really cheating?
For years it’s been very difficult to catch a cheating spouse without either paying someone like a private investigator to snoop on them. You can do it yourself but that can be considered stalking and even another reason for them to play away.
There are now apps out there that can tune into the other’s messaging. Yes, you can monitor their WhatsApp, Messenger and Snapchat messages for a small monthly fee! They don’t require access to the mobile device themselves, and can monitor enough for you to put a sound case together for lawyers, or… just the next song?
50 Ways to Leave Your Lover
For someone who has escaped a hard-going relationship, Paul Simon’s 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover hasn’t aged at all through the decades. It’s about a conversation between two friends, one who’s very miserable in their relationship. The chorus is joyful and fun, with rhymes suggesting that you ‘Get on the bus, Gus!’ and so forth.
The joy and fun of the song conveys something important. Walking away can be the mentally healthiest thing you ever do. As with having something cut out in a hospital operation there will be terrific postoperative pain, but you may well find happiness alone and then, potentially with another. You just gotta ‘get yourself free’!