Babies: they eat, sleep, cry, look cute as hell, and poop their pants. And that is basically IT. The little freeloaders have like zero responsibility, yet for some reason someone decided to create a relaxing day spa for babies in Houston, Texas. The place is called Float Baby and it’s the first of its kind. For $65 an hour, bald nuggets ranging from the ages of 2 weeks to 6 months can float around in a pool of water while parents receive a massage instruction. Exsqueeze me, but aren’t parents the ones who need the massage? Aren’t parents the ones who need ALL the massages? Someone should introduce a spa for new parents so they can nap, shower, and have a good cry. Oh my god, I can just see the money pouring in. It looks so good. Investors — call me!