If you had to pinpoint where exactly the mark is for transitioning into adulthood, it would probably be the process of moving away from home. Not moving out for college, but actually moving away from home; away from your family, your day-one friends from high school, and all the people who have become family at college. Maybe it is a new job causing you to move or simply your hopes to begin again in a fresh new city. Regardless of the reason, when you move away from home there are stages of grief that inevitably come with the process.
The three stages of grief are well known and have been felt by many. Most commonly applied to the loss of a loved one, as first introduced by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in On Death and Dying in 1969, the stages of grief can be applied to the loss of a home and the transition into a new one. When moving out, it is important to acknowledge this, as well as find support to help you throughout the process.
Stage One: Isolation and Denial
The first stage to be experienced when moving away from home is Isolation and Denial. For those moving across states lines and especially for people moving across-country, a sense of isolation can overwhelmingly drown out the feelings of excitement. Getting off the plane to a world of unknown faces and unfamiliar surroundings can trigger the most lonely of feelings. Obviously the first few days and weeks will be the hardest. Allowing yourself time to adjust requires patience and understanding of the larger picture.
The feelings of denial can begin even before your move happens. Denial can be found in the relationships you are leaving behind and promised to keep up with. Not only is there now distance between you and your family and friends back home, but there also may be a few hours of time difference. While unintentional, all the promises of keeping in touch and calling often are usually empty promises.
Despite having every intention to keep in close touch with the people you are leaving behind, there is denial that life goes on, and people change. You and your network of people back home will naturally evolve into a new routine and a different pattern. The borders of close circles will close and you may no longer be on the inside of those lines as you once were. While you may deny this through every step of the moving process, once you are creating your new routine, it will hit you at some point, bringing you to the next stage.
Stage Two: Depression
The realization of these feelings lead into the next stage of grief when moving away from home: depression. Mixed with those feelings of isolation, the depression that can be experienced when settling down and starting over in a different city can be depleting. You may be seeing your friends from college that still live by each other getting closer, while you struggle to find time to call them. Maybe your younger sibling is in a show, which is not enough to drop a few hundred dollars for a flight back home, but is enough to miss home and long to be there with family.
Stage Three: Acceptance
It is time that will eventually bring you to the final stage of grief when moving away from home. Acceptance is a road that looks differently for everyone. For some, it is a long, bumpy, and twisted road – full of good days and bad days. For others, the adjustment period may be quick, and accepting you in your new environment and stage of life will come swiftly. Regardless, acceptance comes in the midst of missing home.
Humans are creatures made to evolve. While change may be hard, people adapt. There will come a night you are sitting at a restaurant with the new friends you have made from your new job or on a date with a new person you met at your new grocery store, it will hit you. That the life you are creating in your new home does not take away from the past and the relationships you have established back home. You are simply establishing another chapter of your life in a new atmosphere. Creating a life you will not regret.
It is hard to prepare for the emotions of this roller coaster ride that comes with moving from home, so prepare for the things that you can control. The most beneficial decision you can make throughout the process to help yourself is to hire a moving company. A company like Moishe’s, with 35 years of experience, will support you throughout all the steps of your move.
With their established experience, it is guaranteed to have all the technical details of your move handled. With licenses, climate controlled trucks, and the knowledge and supplies to pack, load, and transport your belongings, Moishe’s is prepared to move you into your new home, no matter how far.
In your first steps into adulthood, make sure you get it done right. Moishe’s will be there to ease any stress of the physical move, so you can prepare yourself for this emotional but exciting transition.