This is the Machete Spatula. It looks like a machete, but it’s a spatula. Plus it also doubles as not one, not two, but THREE bottle openers. It’s being sold for ~$18 over at Dunk Trading. I originally read that as Drunk Trading, which is something I do when I’ve had too much to drink and I try to barter with people on Craig’s List. Typical Saturday night. Okay, typical Anyday night. Okay okay, typical Anyday.
Thanks to Lewis for sending in the tip!