ThinkGeek is selling this Tactical Laser-Guided Pizza Cutter for just $20. Its laser/flashlight scope attachment is meant to give you the perfect cut. But be warned: it’s not dishwasher safe, which means this thing is never getting clean! But what difference does it make? After the novelty wears off, it’s gonna spend the rest of its life at collecting dust in the junk drawer anyway. Besides, why do you need to cut a pizza? To share with others? Who in the hell shares pizza?! I’ll tell you who: pizza amateurs. Or as I like to call them: pizzamateurs.