If you’ve managed to miss the Twilight movies, I’ll save you some trouble. It’s about a sparkly teenager (who misses the mark when it comes to ennui and comes off as whiny) and another teenager (who apparently hates wearing shirts) fighting over a boring girl with a weird facial tick. Or something like that. Actually, that might be kind of a long summary. Instead just watch this video. It sums the whole thing up in four seconds, and really, that’s about all the attention anyone over the age of 13 can muster up. Remember when vampires didn’t sparkle and they were played by Brad Pitt? Those were the days.