Hate someone so bad you’re willing to spend money sending them a booty burp in the mail? You have problems! But you’re also in luck, so congrulations and let me introduce you to Fart By Mail. It’s a mail order service that sends a smelly-ass greeting card complete with a fart sound. Wheeeeeee! Before we run out and buy one for everyone we know hate, a few quick questions: First, how do they trap those nasty gasses? Second, and more importantly, why? Third, I don’t wanna live on this planet anymore. I realize that’s not actually a question, but… does it even matter? Just put me out of my misery already!