The One and Only Veniamin’s Human Slinky is for sale over on eBay for some 1 million dollars. That… is a lot of money. I remember my first mill. The first thing I did was buy a private jet. It was the craziest thing: Jesus was literally my co-pilot. Neither of us ever had any lessons! But private jets basically fly themselves so it was whatev. When Falcor showed up with a twenty sack, we took mad bong rips off his thousand foot bubbler. Next I woke up on the sidewalk outside my apartment building and realized it was alllll a dream.

Via the eBay page description:

The most unusual, astonishing, unique and creative act of its kind in the world featured in the world oddities book “Ripley’s Believe It Or Not!: Prepare to Be Shocked!”, winner award Best Variety Act 2008 at the Hollywood Best New Talent Awards. People ask… what is it? What are we watching? Everywhere are completely astonished and baffled at the act. Veniamin’s® his name and he comes from Romania and live in USA. He’s appeared on the Late Show with David Letterman, America’s Got Talent, When Will I Be Famous, The View, Viva Variety, Paul O’Grady Show and many other TV shows all over the World.

Sooo I’m still not certain what the hell this thing’s supposed to be and it doesn’t sound like the people selling it are completely clear on the issue either. But apparently The Human Slinky is a dude. A dude I would totally party with. Can you imagine the times that could be had? I bet he gets crazier than the Kool-Aid Man and that’s saying a lot.